Extreme Makeover: Closet Edition!

     I think that my closet is as anxious as I am for me to have this surgery!  Trying to find something in there is like looking for buried treasure!  It's always hard, never where I thought it was, and I end up finding stuff I forgot was there!  When we moved into this house, my husband installed a new wire closet organizer to help me deal with all of my clothes, but there is STILL not enough room!  Yes, I do love shopping for clothes, but the real problem has to do with my weight!
     One of the changes my closet will see once I lose the weight is just the simple fact that my clothes will weight less!  Less material, less weight, especially in my jeans!  The poor rod in there now looks like my back feels!  Can't wait to help it out there!
     The biggest problem is my "smaller" clothes.  Every time I have lost weight I have gone out and bought all new clothes to show it off!  But once I gain any back, do I get rid of those clothes?  Of course not!!!  Are you crazy?  You save them as inspiration to lose it again!  "I will get back in those jeans!  I must keep them to see my progress!"  Yeah, right.  Haven't been able to wear them for years.  Or that pair, or that one.  That one, over there, I only got a chance to wear once!  "But I don't want to get rid of them.  They remind me of happier days, and I want to see those days again."  Sound familiar? I know I am not the only one that does this!  I will gladly get rid of my big clothes though!  "Don't want to see those days again!", but the weight has always come back, and I have to hurry to find something that will fit me again.  It's funny, the games we play with our bodies, trying to get it to understand how much we want to lose weight.  The sad thing is seldom, if ever, does this actually work.
     So my closet is FULL of stuff I can't wear!  As you venture further and further back into the dark recesses of folds of cloth, you see my "dreams".  The clothing I was "meant" to wear!  My inspiration to lose weight!  Yeah, whatever... it turns into my nightmare!  I dig to try to find something that I can wear out on a special occasion, and end up feeling depressed and angry at what I have done to myself.  It has went from being my favorite thing, to something I fear.  I am surprised I haven't put up "caution" tape!
     Last year was a horrible one for me and my family.  My dog starting having seizures.  My grandparents were robbed, and lost all of their life savings.  Both went through major health problems thanks to that stress.  My husband was out of work through the holidays.  And worst of all, my wonderful father in law lost his battle with Parkinson's.  That was, of course, the hardest thing I have ever went though.  There has been so many stresses, my weight has really paid the price.  I went from not eating at all, to comforting myself with food, and back to starving my body.  Of course, going through all of that I seldom lost weight.  Even if I didn't eat, my body thought we were going through a famine, and clung to all of the extra fat cells it could!  Bye bye, muscle mass!  By the end of the year, I felt the worst I have ever felt in my life.
     The New Year brought wishes of leaving that horrible year behind me, and starting anew.  It also brought about a new idea that instead of dealing with my individual health issues, maybe the answer was losing weight.  So during my first doctor's appointment of the year, I asked if I would be eligible for weight loss surgery.  Surprisingly, that was all it took!  A quick glance at the computer, and a few keystrokes later I was signed up to take an orientation class!  And so, here we are! 
     So now, when I look at my closet, it is not with the same shame and depression!  I know that not only will I get my chance to wear all of those "lost treasures", I will also be able to someday get rid of all of them and replace them with even tinier garments!  The overall weight of my closet will go down, and those poor straining rods will be thanking me as my jeans end up weighing less and less.  I have starting losing on my own little by little in anticipation of surgery, so already I am able to fit back in all of the clothes that quit fitting me because of that nightmarish year.  But to be able to look at all of those clothes and think to myself, "Not only will I be able to wear ALL of this, but I will be SMALLER that this!".... it's a great feeling!  Don't worry, I will post before and after pictures for you!

Oh, For The Love Of Concerts!

     So, if you have read my other blogs, you know that my main reason for wanting weight loss surgery (wls) is for my health.  Getting rid of diabetes is a huge deal to me.  I want to be able to exercise, keep diseases at bay, and FEEL BETTER!
     But now it's time for me to get a little more vain, and envision myself in my smaller (healthier) body!  What will that mean to me?  What will change with what I buy?
     Those that know me will tell you.... I am a nerd!  (And proud of it!) I love clothes that represent the entertainment that I enjoy.  That part of me will NOT change after surgery.  BUT... what it WILL mean is that I will be able to wear the more feminine version of the shirts I currently own!  They seldom sell shirts in ladies cuts for plus sizes.  So all of my shirts are mens.  This has a big plus (at least in my eyes).  My old shirts will not go to waste!  My husband (my Wookie) loves all of the same stuff I do!  He is 6'4", so 2X is perfect for him!  So all I have to do is switch them to another part of the closet.  Problem solved!  How awesome is that?
     I bet some of you are wondering what I am talking about!  For the most part, CONCERTS!  I LOVE going to concerts, and my favorite part is coming home with a shirt to proudly wear in hopes of making other people jealous!  We have been to three Social Distortion concerts!  (If you don't know who they are, well, YOU SHOULD!)  All three times we have been up against the stage!  I am so proud of that fact!  But, unfortunately, that is one show that I have not been able to "show off".  When we went to all of them, I was working so hard at losing weight, and there was no way I was walking out of there with a man's shirt.  I did get an XL sweatshirt, but it ran very small and never looked very good on me.  I have picked up a few shirts here and there with their band name, but all I can get is XL, and they are never very flattering.  If you know the band, you know that they are very into the Bettie Page look, and so it's all about showing off the curves.  While I love that idea, I have a bit more "curves" then I am willing to show!  So, into a box they go, to get lost and forgotten.  But no hard feelings!  I will get there!
     So, since then, I have learned my lesson.  Don't buy things and "hope that someday" you will fit into them.  So now I just go ahead and buy the big 'ole, unflattering men's shirts.  It is a very sad message that entertainers send... women can only be fans if they can wear a size large, but men can be 2X!  Okay, fine!  I'll show off my masculine side!   As long as I can show my pride in my favorite artists.  I love Jack Johnson!  Weird Al Yankovic!  (Yes, I have very eclectic taste!)  And of course I love going to comedy shows: Eddie Izzard!  Family Guy Live!  Have to show it off!  And then there are the shirts I buy offline (love my ebay!) or in stores.  My newest favorite are my True Blood shirts!  So, as you see, my closet is packed with tees!
     Some of these will be harder for me to replace.  Maybe I'll be able to wear some to the gym or something.  But I am SO looking forward to replacing what I can with new slimmer versions!  I mean, come on!  What gastric girl doesn't need a shirt from Eddie Izzard that says "Cake or Death?"  This is going to be the perfect excuse to go back to all of my favorite shows JUST to get my feminine tops!
     And don't even get me started on what shopping will be like at Disneyland!  Heck yeah!!! All of those cute little tops with Pirates, or Jack Skellington!   Get me Mickey, Minnie, and Tinkerbell!  I don't care if they are made for teens, come on!  I have been a fan of these characters and rides for WAY longer!  I am a big kid at heart, what can I say?
     I am sure that by the time I have lost the weight I will be ready for a little bit of "high fashion" too, but I refuse to give up some things.  Clothes tell a lot about a person, and I can't wait to tell my true story!