Everyone has their own reason for wanting a surgery like this. Most of the time it has to do with feeling bad about their weight. You know, when I first started gaining bad, I would look in the mirror, and I didn't see a fat person. Over time I see it, and I don't like it. But to be honest, as long as I am healthy I could really care less. And there is the problem.... I am not healthy.
I hear a lot of people talk about why you should, or shouldn't have bariatric surgery. I read about how losing weight won't get rid of your problems, and some people find themselves MORE depressed after surgery. Knowing this, I still think this is the right decision for me. Why? Because I am not out to get skinny.... I am out to be healthy.
I view this surgery in very much the same way as I did my c-sections. I know that there will be difficult times ahead. I know that healing will take time. But the gain is way too awesome! C-section meant I had a beautiful baby. Gastric Bypass means I have a beautiful new life (and a big plus of looking great!).
My number one reason for having surgery is to get rid of the diabetes. And to try and explain how wonderful my life will be without it.... it's hard! If you've never dealt with it, or never had the same things happen to you, it is hard to understand. First, and foremost, I have to worry about what this might do to me. You all have heard stories. People lose limbs, or like my mother, can lose their sight. So many parts of your body can be affected! I have to have yearly eye and foot examines. Constant blood tests, blood pressure tests, kidney tests... what doesn't get tested? But it goes so much deeper for me personally.
When the doctor first decided that I could no longer control this on my own, I was put on Metformin (Glucophage). I hate to do this, but I will give details. Maybe it will help you to understand why I hate being diabetic! The first few doses of Metformin can cause upset stomach and diarrhea. Some people are lucky enough to not experience these side effects. Well, for every bit of luck they have, I guess that I am cursed! The first few days after starting it, I cannot leave the house. I run for the bathroom 15 times or more a day! And when I say run, I mean RUN! So that sounds like fun, right? Well, it gets even better! If I forget a pill, and I am late taking it, my whole system resets itself! That's right! A whole new game of "How Fast Can I Make It"! And let me tell you, I have a horrible memory! So I take this wonderful pill that seems to hate me, and guess what? It doesn't do much!
So the doctor says I need something else. What do I get? Insulin! Why? Why not let me try some other pills before moving to that? Because I was lucky enough to understand how to take insulin already (you cannot take oral medications while pregnant), and they feel it is easier to regulate your blood sugars with it. Bull! (But I will get into that in a minute!)
So I get the fun daily job of taking insulin. Want to hear about the fun that's involved? No? Well, I'm going to tell you anyways!
I have to prick my fingers 4 to 5 times a day to test my blood sugar. Not that big of a deal, really, but it is a fun game to play! "Wonder which finger would hurt less today?" Sometimes you think you hit the jackpot, and feel hardly any pain, only to realize that there isn't enough blood coming out to put in the tester! Awww.... try again!
Next, I have to swab alcohol on my tummy where I am going to inject the insulin. This is really the fun game! The trick to find the place where there will be minimal pain. I will poke around on my tummy until I find the spot that seems to have the least feeling. Start pushing it in... opps, that one hurt! Okay, try again! Sometimes the pain doesn't start until you start pushing the plunger, then all of the sudden it's like you are injecting liquid fire! Unless I want to pull out the whole thing and try to make a new hole, I have to just slowly keep injecting and feel the burn! Okay, it sounds worse then it really is. I know how people have a fear of needles. It's not THAT bad, but neither is it fun. It's just something you get use to I guess.
But, see, that is not even what really bothers me! My biggest complaint is that I cannot regulate my sugars at all! They may say it is easier, but that just isn't the case with me. Sure, if you ate the same thing day in and day out, it would be no problem figuring out how much insulin you need. But what if you eat less (or more), or eat earlier or later then normal?
I have the thrill of suffering from panic attacks and anxiety. One of the effects of anxiety is loss of appetite. So if I don't eat, I shouldn't have to take a shot... right? WRONG! It's a long story, but if your body doesn't get enough food it can actually RAISE you sugar! So even if you don't eat, you still have to take insulin. How much? Wish I knew! Seems like my body is always changing it's mind!
Hypoglycemia is an awful thing to experience. You feel sick, shaky, get cold sweats, dizziness, and confusion. Your whole body feels crazy! Describing it can't paint you a good picture... just know it is awful. I seem to experience this several times a week! (For awhile there, it was every day!) When it happens, you have to eat to bring it back up. Most of the time, I am so sick, I can't imagine eating anything! Fear sets in, and I normally end up eating something sweet just to get it up. Then it tastes good, and I still feel awful, so at that time my mind tells me eating more will bring it up faster. I know what I SHOULD be eating to bring it up and keep it stable, but my mind disagrees. As I said, it causes confusion... really, do you think I make wise decision while feeling like this? Nope! And there goes a viscous cycle of eating junk that is packing on the weight! THIS is what I want away from!!! Is surgery worth it? Heck yeah!
One of the side effects of gastric bypass is "dumping syndrome". If you eat foods that are high in sugars or fats, you might experience: nausea, shakes, cold sweats, dizziness, and possible diarrhea. Um, okay. And you only get it if you eat foods you shouldn't be eating, thereby helping you to make wise food choices. Sounds fair to me! It's like shock therapy! Haha!
On a serious note, many people are worried about what can happen on the operating table. I have been through 3 c-sections, and the risks were there as well. But just like then, I have to decide what is more dangerous. Then, it was dangers to myself and the baby (my first born was 11 lbs. 4 ozs.!) Now, it is what can happen to my body if I don't take care of my health. I made it through those surgeries, and I will make it through this one. I have a positive outlook! And I plan to keep it that way!
"You should try to do it on you own!" Do you think I haven't tried? Do you really think I am being "lazy"? Um, in case you didn't know this, there is nothing that will really change as far as making yourself eat healthy, and exercising. You still have to make healthy choices! You still have to work hard to get there! But this is a tool to help you achieve it. "Lazy" is just a word people throw around when they don't understand what is involved. Those people are "lazy" for ASSUMING they know what they are talking about without actually reading up on it. So there! I love to exercise, and I love healthy foods, but I have been down this path before. Those that can achieve it on your own... WOW! AWESOME! You are the bomb! Pat yourself on the back! Guess what? I will be patting myself on the back once I takes the steps I NEED to achieve my goals! It's drastic, but it's what I want. If you don't like it, well, don't do it!
Please do not think for one minute that I have not looked at this decision from every angle! I am a Libra! I have to weigh out my options... it's what I do! From the way I see it, the scales are just about balanced, and that is before throwing on there things like looking better, having more energy, having less back problems..... on and on the list can go. What do you think I am going to chose? What would you chose in my shoes? It's hard, isn't it? Well, actually, I don't think it's hard at all.
I have a super positive attitude about it. I am excited! I will be eating smaller meals.... awesome! If I eat sweets or fats I will "dump"... well, that'll teach me! I will have more energy... well, I am sure my kids will find a way to use that up!
This is going to be a whole new life, and a whole new me.
I will use this power for good, and not evil!
This is a "tool" to use in forming a new healthy Candice!
I don't know about you, but I can't wait to meet her!!!!!
